Running in 2011

When I went to Eastern Washington I went from running 0 to 70 miles a week in one week. My mindstate at the time was get in shape or get injured.

When I got back on the team after getting cut, I was running 70 miles a week, but I forgot how to race. Last year I once again suffered from not racing. I trained for one race and since I didn't have any other races under my belt, when things went bad, I got caught up in robot mode.

A mode where it's like my legs and lungs can push harder, but I'm just not mentally there. I wasn't in as good of shape as some of the other runners, but I still think I should have done a lot better.

Now in 2011 after having an office job, I've recently realized that I'm way out of shape. Way way out of shape. I guess thinking about it, I set myself up to be so out of shape. I'd eat junk food, go to work, sit down all day, drink pop. Go home just to lay around and watch Movies with my girlfrann. And She's the type of girl who couldn't gain a pound if she tried.

I started running about a month ago, but I would just go for a little while, and do the same short run over and over again. If it wasn't nice out I wouldn't run, but that's a problem in Alaska. The weather changes all the time, if I want to wait for nice days, I could be waiting for 2 weeks... Sometimes. And I'd keep telling myself that next week I'll step up my training, next week I'mma start pushing myself. I'd Play in basketball tourneys and do pretty good, which made me falsely believe I was in shape.

That all led to me staying the same, my attempts to run just made me lazier. Last week I kind of looked in the mirror at myself, like damn you fat bastard. What the fuck!? So I've been trying to step my training up. My mindstate isn't get in shape or get injured anymore. It's more get in shape safely.

This means running everyday, even if I feel like crap, or it's horrible outside. Doing hard days and easy days. The hard days might be just running more then 3 miles right now, as opposed to the easy days being shorter runs. In the past a hard day was a speed work out while the easy day would be an easy 13 mile run.

I'm going to have to push myself, just to get back up to high mileage. Also I need to do more then just one race, this means I have to put myself in a position to lose. Fear of losing is a huge driving force for me, but if I want to compete and win later I have to be able to lose right now.

If I get in a race right now and get my ass kicked, it'll set my body up for the next race. In 2011 I'm taking everything 1 day at a time, I'm not saying I'm going to just go out there and dominate. But I'mma do more steps to prepare myself.

Scrub now to shine later. It's going to be a lot of work, but hopefully I'm up for it.