Negativity

What I've come to realize is I thrive off of negativity. When I first went to EWU we had an asshole coach, everyday in practice he'd have something crazy to say to me.

He would say "You're not in high school anymore."
"Welcome to D-1"

If I wasn't doing good in a work out "Dru go run with the girls!!"

Then when I did good instead of praising me I'd hear him ball everybody else out for losing to me.

I loved that shit, everyday I just wanted to prove to him and myself that I could run and do well at that level. I put in work, then at the end of the year he said "Dru lose 10 pounds or your off the team"..

That's when I left the team for a while, I think that right there might of messed my head up.

When I came back to Alaska recently from Washington, everybody was like "Dam Dru, you got fat", "What you ain't running anymore?", "Looking pretty healthy Dru." and so on.. It's alright if the cousins clown me or people I'm close to, but when people I don't know come up and start saying that ish it started to piss me off. I used it as motivation, and laughed it off for a month.

Worked hard and lost 15 to 20 pounds in a month, and then people were still clowning. That's when it got crazy for me because I been putting in work and ya'll are still teasing me? I wanted to respond "Dam you got ugly" when somebody said "Dam you got fat" haha.. It almost made me want to be a hater myself.. Even the cousins got tired of hearing me get clowned on, like aiight jokes over..

But at the same time I love that, I use it.. It makes me want to work hard everyday, push myself. I don't know what kind of shape I'm in right now, but I know I've been working hard. I can look in the mirror with no shirt on and be like 50% happy right now haha. halfway superman..

It all comes back around, people are starting to show me love right now. And that has me missing the negativity almost. I assume my competition is better then me, in better shape, working harder. Out of every race there is only 1 winner, winning isn't normal, so why should I try to be normal.

Teachers would make fun of my work, they would roast me. Because they said I could take it, and if they used others as an example they would probably break down. Negativity is a gift and a curse. Nothings ever good enough, all you can do is try to find perfection in the imperfections. But that never works for me, I thrive in the storm. Bring me drama, make me feel worthless, and I'll love you forever.

Dru-P