Can't Sleep

"I don't wanna live no more, sometimes I hear death nocking at the front door,

I'm living every day like a hustle, another drug to juggle, another day another struggle"

-Notorious B.I.G.

Not exactly how I feel, but sometimes it's like the whole world is against you.

I have a poster from a Kanye West album on my wall. The poster is of a bear being

shot from a cannon, and the bear looks so free. The bear is on that spaceship.

Sometimes I look at that bear with envious eyes. Like the words of Kanye,

"Wait until I get my moneyyyy righhhht, then you can't tell me nothing rigggght."

"To whom, much is given, much is tested."

If I was that bear I'd probably crash into a building, or everybody around me would construct some kind of net to catch me. I'd be like one of those slow dogs thinking I escaped, when really I'm about to hit the end of the chain and choke myself. Really though, to whom, much is given much is tested. At the same time, I'm always free.

I've been getting calls from employers, all they do is brag about me, sometimes they call me overqualified. So I walk away from interviews feeling on top of the world, and then a couple of days later I never get a call back. Yup Yup.. Pretty full of win.. I respond by pretending to not care about money, because in my mind I'm on that spaceship.

The other thing that's been killing me, is making the same mistakes over and over again. I'll just tell myself I'm right, riiiiiiight.

Well anyways, Goodmorning.. Goodnight..

Dru-P