You Go All Out or Be Gone

On my run today I remembered when somebody on the track team told me, after I went through a long Dru-P hiatus. "You need to get your heart broke again, so you can drop another Better Dayz".

And although I hate to admit it a lot of truth was said in jest. When I'm chilling in my own comfortable zone I can just chill, work, and handle my business. I don't need that attention or praise. I need somebody to come through and destroy me, fuck my whole world up, so I can rebuild.

Every time I've been brought down I've come back stronger. The hurt makes me work harder, makes me reach higher, and aspire to be better both physically and mentally. Every time you see me doing big things for myself, and not for the team. It's because I'm hurt. I'd usually prefer my cousins or my boys get shine instead of me, but I'd like to thank every girl who has brought me down.

Every body who has put me in the storm, and made me feel, all I can do is thank you. When you see me out here being crazy, wilding out, partying, and having fun. Just know that you're looking at a native who's heartbroken. You are looking at the worst of me, that's me dancing with my demons. I'm not really trying to make a point here, other then a broken heart will make you do crazy things. Never give up, you go all out or be gone. My addiction to winning makes it hard for me to end a relationship that's abusive or negative.

And instead of accepting defeat I have a habit of needing acceptance, needing shine, and needing praise from those around me. This habit makes me act irrational in the presence of rejection. It's a good and a bad thing. But with this current relationship ending, watch out.. I'm back. That Dru-P hiatus is over.

It's like my boy said when he was on a diet, "I need to eat something every once in a while to shock my system." This girl was a shock to my system, a needed distraction. I may have caught feelings and had them hurt, but I'mma come back stronger, faster and harder then before. You go all out or be gone. Thank you for the fuel, I still wuvvs you mami. Always and forever