Running in 2011

When I went to Eastern Washington I went from running 0 to 70 miles a week in one week. My mindstate at the time was get in shape or get injured.

When I got back on the team after getting cut, I was running 70 miles a week, but I forgot how to race. Last year I once again suffered from not racing. I trained for one race and since I didn't have any other races under my belt, when things went bad, I got caught up in robot mode.

A mode where it's like my legs and lungs can push harder, but I'm just not mentally there. I wasn't in as good of shape as some of the other runners, but I still think I should have done a lot better.

Now in 2011 after having an office job, I've recently realized that I'm way out of shape. Way way out of shape. I guess thinking about it, I set myself up to be so out of shape. I'd eat junk food, go to work, sit down all day, drink pop. Go home just to lay around and watch Movies with my girlfrann. And She's the type of girl who couldn't gain a pound if she tried.

I started running about a month ago, but I would just go for a little while, and do the same short run over and over again. If it wasn't nice out I wouldn't run, but that's a problem in Alaska. The weather changes all the time, if I want to wait for nice days, I could be waiting for 2 weeks... Sometimes. And I'd keep telling myself that next week I'll step up my training, next week I'mma start pushing myself. I'd Play in basketball tourneys and do pretty good, which made me falsely believe I was in shape.

That all led to me staying the same, my attempts to run just made me lazier. Last week I kind of looked in the mirror at myself, like damn you fat bastard. What the fuck!? So I've been trying to step my training up. My mindstate isn't get in shape or get injured anymore. It's more get in shape safely.

This means running everyday, even if I feel like crap, or it's horrible outside. Doing hard days and easy days. The hard days might be just running more then 3 miles right now, as opposed to the easy days being shorter runs. In the past a hard day was a speed work out while the easy day would be an easy 13 mile run.

I'm going to have to push myself, just to get back up to high mileage. Also I need to do more then just one race, this means I have to put myself in a position to lose. Fear of losing is a huge driving force for me, but if I want to compete and win later I have to be able to lose right now.

If I get in a race right now and get my ass kicked, it'll set my body up for the next race. In 2011 I'm taking everything 1 day at a time, I'm not saying I'm going to just go out there and dominate. But I'mma do more steps to prepare myself.

Scrub now to shine later. It's going to be a lot of work, but hopefully I'm up for it.

lets have a toast

So when I was out in Washington on the track team, a lot of people
on the team would straight up hate our other teammates.
Me and my boy E Walt never let any of our annoyances get to that point.
If somebody on the team annoyed us, we'd just say "Shut the Fuck Up" and get it out of our system.

Most of the team would just hold everything in. I think the term for that is called, being polite or something. There's a time for being polite and all, but there's also a time when you need to just say what's on your mind. You can't just let people walk over you. There's no need to let your annoyances grow. Just gotta say what's on your mind and get it out of your system sometimes.

That's where I'm at right now. I've been being polite to my boss. Too polite.
So I'm getting mad everytime he insults me. Hell I'm at a point where his voice pisses me off. I can't do that. I gotta bring back the asshole. If he smells like piss, I need to tell him to back the fuck up, or take a shower. If he's trying to take over my projects, just gotta verbally backhand him.

I'm a minority, which means I grew up getting made fun of. But more importantly I grew up making fun of people. It's all love. I can't just hold everything in. Gotta bring back the clown, rebirth of the asshole. Otherwise I'll go crazy. Cheers.. Let's have a toast to the douche bags, let's have a toast for the assholes. Let's have a toast for the scum bags, every one of them that I know.

Being an asshole won't make me magically like my boss, or anything. But it's going to keep me from hating him. And more importantly keep me from hating my job, thus improving the quality of life. haha

Dru-P

The Other Side

Alright so there are two sides to every story. Two sides to every coin, or however that saying goes. I don't really get the opportunity to vent, that often. If I have drama I handle it, the whole world doesn't need to know.

I guess, everytime I have drama with the old (young) lady, she tells all her friends about it. So then I hear her guy friends telling her, "Just break up with him" or "He's not worth it", and then saying, "Come over." Or some crazy shit like that. Her girls tell her the same thing. But those bitches need to look in the mirror, everytime they get drunk they get emotional. They're single, and like they say, misery loves company.

I don't feel threatened by her guy friends, or those girls either. I just feel a little disrespected that they would put my name in their mouth. None of them know me, they don't know what I've been through, they don't know what I put up with, or do every single day. They just hear the bad and think they can disrespect me by putting my name in their mouth. Fuck yall.

I work my ass off. Every single day I let my girl know that she's loved, I spoil her. I love her.. There's good and bad, but mostly good in our relationship. When people start rumors, or just speak on me in a negative light. I ask you, what the fuck have you done in your life?

Like Atoine Ego said in Rattatouille,

"We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is the average piece of junk, is probably more meaningfull then the criticism designating it so."

or in the words of Kanyeezy

"Tell the critics they can kiss my whole ass, oh I'm an asshole? Ya'll ni***s got joooooookes"..

or in the words of Jay-Z, "Fuck the other side, they jealous."

I know that in this world there are a lot of snakes in the grass. But sometimes it feels like everybody around me is a hair from Medusa. The creeps are going to creep. But step your game up at least, make up some more believable rumors. Some of you so called friends, need to get a life, or something. Work on yourself, before you feel the need to F my ish up.

I don't want to speak on my girl negatively. She deserves more then to be put in peoples mouths. I want everybody to see her as amazing as I do. Sorry I got kind of distracted and caught up on her friends, and didn't really tell much of my side of the story. I guess I'm just trying to say I love her, and if you're against that in any way.. Fuck You



Dru-P Signing Out

Happy New Year

So 2010 was pretty much the shizzle.. Started off with youuuu knowww, then it got better. Finished my album "Nuchalawoyya" which besides track 2 came out exactly how I imagined it. I didn't market it or sell it how I should have, but I can work on selling it more in 2011.

I left EWU on top of the world, pretty much felt like the whole school was showing me love. Guess that's what happens when you're Van Wilder haha. They seen me down and brought me back up before I left. When I came back to Alaska, all of the kings horses and all of the kings men couldn't put humpty back together again.

I came back and was way out of shape, everybody clowned until I lost like 20 pounds, which may have came back this winter lol. I took a loss at the World Eskimo Indian Olympics, for the first time in like five years. But it's all good I deserved to lose..

Also I started playing basketball again this summer, and even though I don't have my handles like I used to, my shot's probably better then it used to be. Other then all of that I got a girlfrannnn. She's my baby baby bumpersticker doodleskins and I looove her. :) :) My Poca Poca.

Ummm.................. in 2011 I plan on getting back in shape, learning to cook, doing at least 1 mixtape, getting a better job, and all of that goot shtufff.. Mad at the world, while I'm Wishing ya'll a Happy New Year.. haha hope ya'll have a good one.

Shout out to C-Lay, Rodney Stuckey, Ant Shears, Kenny D, Mike D, Mike B, K Geezy, My family, and all of the cuzzos.

Dru-P

Can't Sleep

"I don't wanna live no more, sometimes I hear death nocking at the front door,

I'm living every day like a hustle, another drug to juggle, another day another struggle"

-Notorious B.I.G.

Not exactly how I feel, but sometimes it's like the whole world is against you.

I have a poster from a Kanye West album on my wall. The poster is of a bear being

shot from a cannon, and the bear looks so free. The bear is on that spaceship.

Sometimes I look at that bear with envious eyes. Like the words of Kanye,

"Wait until I get my moneyyyy righhhht, then you can't tell me nothing rigggght."

"To whom, much is given, much is tested."

If I was that bear I'd probably crash into a building, or everybody around me would construct some kind of net to catch me. I'd be like one of those slow dogs thinking I escaped, when really I'm about to hit the end of the chain and choke myself. Really though, to whom, much is given much is tested. At the same time, I'm always free.

I've been getting calls from employers, all they do is brag about me, sometimes they call me overqualified. So I walk away from interviews feeling on top of the world, and then a couple of days later I never get a call back. Yup Yup.. Pretty full of win.. I respond by pretending to not care about money, because in my mind I'm on that spaceship.

The other thing that's been killing me, is making the same mistakes over and over again. I'll just tell myself I'm right, riiiiiiight.

Well anyways, Goodmorning.. Goodnight..

Dru-P

Random thoughts

People ask me how I stay so humble, how I don't hold my accomplishments over other people's heads. How I don't look down on others. Honestly it's the same reason why I'm single.

Everyday I usually tell myself that I ain't shit. That I'm a loser, most of the trash people talk is just confirmation to what I'm already thinking. "I don't wanna live no more, sometimes I hear death nocking at my front door" - Biggie

Ever since I didn't answer the phone when Sharon hit me up, and that same night she well you already know. I'll have nights where I need to talk on the phone. Tonight's one of those nights but nobody's answering.

Feels like I've been holding everything in, I'm in love with a girl but she's not my girl. We treat it like the biggest secret in the world, and honestly I don't like that. Reminds me of me and misses V, except I pretend that I'm with a good girl this time. Like F the truth, I'd rather live in my own blind state of mind and be happy then face reality right now.

I train hard because I assume I have no talent and need to work for every inch. Nothing's ever good enough. Everybody is better then me.

I would do anything for anybody, But I feel like ya'll spit in my face sometimes. All I can do is prepare myself, train and work hard to be the best that I can be. I wish I had somebody to hold me down, but I can't worry about all that. I can go in on myself, I can bring myself down, but at the end of the day I gotta stay strong and focused.

You can hate me, you're allowed to hate me. I'm allowed to hate me. But always remember, I love you.

Dru-P

Negativity

What I've come to realize is I thrive off of negativity. When I first went to EWU we had an asshole coach, everyday in practice he'd have something crazy to say to me.

He would say "You're not in high school anymore."
"Welcome to D-1"

If I wasn't doing good in a work out "Dru go run with the girls!!"

Then when I did good instead of praising me I'd hear him ball everybody else out for losing to me.

I loved that shit, everyday I just wanted to prove to him and myself that I could run and do well at that level. I put in work, then at the end of the year he said "Dru lose 10 pounds or your off the team"..

That's when I left the team for a while, I think that right there might of messed my head up.

When I came back to Alaska recently from Washington, everybody was like "Dam Dru, you got fat", "What you ain't running anymore?", "Looking pretty healthy Dru." and so on.. It's alright if the cousins clown me or people I'm close to, but when people I don't know come up and start saying that ish it started to piss me off. I used it as motivation, and laughed it off for a month.

Worked hard and lost 15 to 20 pounds in a month, and then people were still clowning. That's when it got crazy for me because I been putting in work and ya'll are still teasing me? I wanted to respond "Dam you got ugly" when somebody said "Dam you got fat" haha.. It almost made me want to be a hater myself.. Even the cousins got tired of hearing me get clowned on, like aiight jokes over..

But at the same time I love that, I use it.. It makes me want to work hard everyday, push myself. I don't know what kind of shape I'm in right now, but I know I've been working hard. I can look in the mirror with no shirt on and be like 50% happy right now haha. halfway superman..

It all comes back around, people are starting to show me love right now. And that has me missing the negativity almost. I assume my competition is better then me, in better shape, working harder. Out of every race there is only 1 winner, winning isn't normal, so why should I try to be normal.

Teachers would make fun of my work, they would roast me. Because they said I could take it, and if they used others as an example they would probably break down. Negativity is a gift and a curse. Nothings ever good enough, all you can do is try to find perfection in the imperfections. But that never works for me, I thrive in the storm. Bring me drama, make me feel worthless, and I'll love you forever.

Dru-P